: Welcome to my humble show, !
Do you enjoy being here?
: It's comfy and compartmentalized. Being anywhere is a good thing!
: You know, you are actually not the first one to tell me that here... Why is that so?
Also, what would, in your opinion, be the OPPOSITE of "being anywhere?"
: Well, we're talking boxes online here. This is a nice place you have here, can I drink this? . . . The opposite of being anywhere would mean you're everywhere, and dead!
: Why do you think these, and both of these, would be rather bad?
: I don't particularly think the inevitable is bad, just the final vacation, as far as we know…
: Well what's THEIR main difference, then?
: One is the waiting room for another, possibly. I don't know why the idea of reincarnation is appealing. It seems like the worst state is being born in the first place, and in that sense, recycling life seems like a punishment or a form of regret. None of us asked to be here. Most fill that void with empty pride like patriotism and prolonging the ego trip vicariously through their children, further polluting the planet…
Is the audience alive? Also, I'm not sure what camera to look into…
: Oh, feel free to look just anywhere! You shall be spotted!
But anyway, being born as the worst state of being, that is just the thought behind the very idea of reincarnation, ain't it?
So, what would YOU actually prefer, as a state of being?
: Exactly. I definitely would not want to be any of the poor life forms we shit all over as humans. I try not to wish for anything serious. Wishing can be a gateway to murder, the monkey's paw and so on… When I said it is good to be anywhere, I mean you have to make the most of the curse of birth while you can. Is your stenographer getting all of this? I think you put something in my drink…
: While highly ignoring the remark you made about your drink, I would be curious for you to tell us more about how you do consider, for example, these
to be seen before that given background, as well as doing art in general!
: Art is a mysterious action, like spontaneous combustion. Francis Bacon said you cannot talk about it, only around it. My particular images, whether they're assemblage/sculpture, animation, my comic strip or photography are all grasps at my subconscious, which most would probably say is distorted and macabre. I find it interesting that painters hone a certain level of creative skill before they can make anything elegant or realistic. Why does it come naturally for most to begin by creating images that are unpleasant to look at? Purely lacking realist skill? Of course, modern art has done away with all that, even if for gimmick at times.
: Did you just say that art, in its most PUREST form, would always be ugly…?
: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder of course. I mean to the untrained and judgmental eye a 'grotesque' image would be probably be received as nothing more than that, no matter the skill intact. Conditioned ideas of beauty is generally equated with smoothness and softness rather than what is naturally raw. It is a cliche, but personally I find what is considered 'ugly' to be more attractive, regardless of realism or detail. It's all an abstract observation on criteria, meaningless . . . I'm loving not having any commercial breaks here!
: What would you, personally, describe as the most UGLY thing that you, personally, ever did?
: Created? A portrait of my wife that I want to destroy, but she won't let me. It's a painting of her decapitated head in a jar surrounded by a cobwebbed still life. I would actually cut her head off before I attempt that again. I made up for it by painting her outline on a mirror and calling it a portrait.
: Tell us more about WOMEN, please!
How do you FEEL about WOMEN?
: I do prefer women over men albeit they're still all too human. I am more old-fashioned in the sense I don't really prefer androgyny. I notice supermodels of either sex seem to possess that quality, I don't get it. Aside from attraction, I don't believe in typical gender roles, an insecure prison.
: Is this because you think that GENDER is OBSOLETE?
: I think so. The body is the mind's logo before anything else in life. I am attracted to natural femininity personally, but all that plastic good called make-up is gender overkill.
: "Gender is luxury." (--> Gawrila Ghul)
Your comment? Also, just how do body and mind connect, in your opinion?
: Fight gender with creativity. Body and mind can only come together when they're not being driven against and apart by civil conditioning, all the tactically distracting elements of society. I find it difficult at times to do so, being a full-time laborer with a family life.
: Tell us more about being a FULL-TIME LABORER WITH A FAMILY LIFE, please!
If any at all, then what kind of impact do you think, this has on your art?
: Well, if i didn't like my wife and step-son (I prefer not to make children of my own!), I wouldn't have them or a job that leaves me with hardly any free time to create. If i were a trust fund baby with an art education I doubt I would feel compelled to be as original as I possibly can. Working out and about has provided me with a wealth of found objects to work with as well as exercise in general awareness of the world around me. This is helpful towards my main focus as an aspiring writer as far as inspiration goes. I whistle while I work to escape the monotony of it all.
: I guess you're referring to your "Garbage art" here...
So, what makes just this aspect of your works particularly connected with WHAT YOU ARE?
Also, what do you think ORIGINALITY actually means?
Also, just why on earth would you want to ever be a WRITER instead?
: We all collect, sometimes to the point of hoarding, attaching abstract meanings to arbitrary objects. By collecting refuse of reality and juxtaposing them in a cut-up fashion, I feel it disarms the materialism of collection.
I think originality is a force, like genius, that no one person can embody, coming and going with creative peaks and lows. It is something that must be chased after.
Writing is my true voice communicating with myself. The idea of being a social mannequin in the art world cheapens the catharsis of making visual art for me. Something very plastic about it all makes me feel like a hermit.
: So you are saying that, for example, these
can be understood as some letters you wrote to yourself…?
Also, what does GENIUS mean to you?
Can you show us one or two of your works, in which you came close to that state?
: I don't think these particularly translate as 'letters to myself', I haven't tried that method yet. I see them more as transmissions from my subconscious that once I channel, becomes products of what William Burroughs and Brion Gysin called 'The Third Mind'. Somehow, this process seems like a collaborative effort within myself. Dreams are an obvious impetus.
Genius is another force to be possessed by. I would be masturbating my ego If I were to favor any of my work. It's like a parent choosing a favorite child, each having unique qualities and styles. Also, the creator is never the best judge of their output, more ridiculous then critics. I have works that I doubt I will ever show to anyone. Nothing personal about it, completion can take years in some cases and I might not survive the shelf life of some of my work.
: Just when is something complete?
: When it has taken the worst possible turn. The feeling is at a different moment every time. When patience runs short, and that is often, I've found abandoning some work in public feels satisfying. The civilized world is a gallery of garbage after all, living and not. I told you I'm not the best judge, but I don't know if anyone is truly. These things have a life of their own and sometimes they are suicidal. There is something pure about returning the failed elements to the environment, a full circle of reaction. You have to watch out for littering fines though.
: In what way is ART connected with GARBAGE, originally?
Also, what would be your thoughts on things taking the BEST possible turn, why is this neither completion nor something to wish for at all, and just how exactly do you distinguish those two possible turns?
: The Dadaists started this 'upcycling' it seems and Pop art immortalizes disposable culture.I can't translate the connection between media-mind-eye-hand-media and what exactly unfolds every time I leave the world behind to create, again a possession of some sorts. I would forget to eat and sleep if my wife didn't love me.
: Do you consider yourself a dadaist?
Also, what is LOVE?
: I flirt heavily with Dada, sometimes we tango.
'Love' is something I have only for my family and friends. Beyond that, it is a cheaply-marketed abstraction. Boyd Rice said it is turning the world into a sewer. The good news is that people love the smell of shit.
: What's your opinion on THE PEOPLE?
: You mean the brainless shuffling masses? Or the few people in a completely uneven ratio that actually make a difference or inspire thought?
: Just "THE PEOPLE", actually...
: Oh, well everyone here is nice, great audience. There are definitely too many people in the world. A holocaust on stupidity is what the world needs.
: Well spoken, I say! But what is STUPIDITY?
: Stupidity is what most eat, sleep, shit, and breathe. By the way, no one should listen to me. Look to higher sources or yourself on how to live your life. I do not need sycophants . . . a cult would be nice though, to take out enough idiot sheep.
: How exactly would your CULT probably look like?
Compared to, let's say, this? dasghul.deviantart.com/journal…
: Well, I liked the outcome of Jim Jones' cult. I couldn't deal with sycophants for very long. Before it became completely outdated, Christianity seemed like the perfect cult, many still think so.
: Elaborate a bit more on the cultish aspect of christianity please, and what you think did become of it!
: Their leader, a magician that was crucified, became this cosmic Jewish zombie that as a symbol, is a legacy of indoctrination, pandering and death. Only in modern times has the cult of science trumped it.
: Elaborate a bit more on the cultish aspect of science please, and how you do approach it!
: It is the most consistent man-made abstraction thus far. As a result, the righteousness of its practitioners and followers blinds them to magick and what they fear most, the inexplicable.
: Is MAGICK cultish, too?
: It can be, but its core resides in a realm beyond abstractions and manifests itself, for me creatively, with enough focus and concentration.
: What are your thoughts on SYNCHRONICITY?
: When we are not aware of it, it is called coincidence or stalking. I do not see opposites in parallels, but a ocean-like dynamic, chance buidling destiny.
: So do you consider those to be rather religious/cultish, rather scientific, or rather spiritual/magickal?
: Definitely spiritual magick.
So, on we go with your art!
Some parts of it are even darker than others, and as I understood so far, you are trying to connect its cathartic side with building destiny.
So, what role does DARKNESS actually play here?
: Beautiful butterflies, aren't they? I haven't painted anything figurative for some time now, before I got into assemblage/sculpture. I will never forget my roots, but there is something about art you can appreciate with your eyes closed that is most satisfying… 'Rorschach tests for the blind'… And yes, the catharsis is deeper at times then others. That is about the only manner I can judge my own work in.
: Do you have any, well let's just call it favourite stories, connected with some specific works of yours that you wouldn't mind to share here?
For example, about how they came into existence, what they did there, and what effect it had on you?
: Sure . . .
This a collaboration with my wife, sort of a simultaneous exquisite corpse project, which we ended up having paint and alcohol-covered sex on. I'm not sure if that helped the piece or not. Both of us aren't sure if it's complete or not.
My first attempt at mixed-media. I was in my ant-infested backyard. Without premeditation, I started collecting these ants, dipping them in paint and placing them on the bare canvas and watching their last steps form this alien-looking Rorschach. I did this for I don't know how many hours. I think it's hard to tell that by looking at it.
I was working on this when I got the news my friend and former bandmate had died of a rare disease that normally effects only children. I visited him in the hospital. I watched him flail around, moaning and trying to pull the tubes out of him. He looked possessed and not in this world anymore. That was the last time I saw him.
: Do you think sex is art, too?
Have you ever been told that you would make a great sadist?
What is death?
: Sex is definitely an art form, performance or otherwise. The act is a middle finger towards death, while the orgasm is symbolic of it. Jean Luc-Godard said eroticism is consenting to live.
My wife told me I'm a sadist after I tied her up and left home, her helpless on the bed. I came back to feed her a cupcake she didn't want. The true sadists are those in power with subordinates like me who have been whipped into depending on the daily grind in a wage-slave existence. Still, those sadists are masochistically under the dominion of their material and monetary gods, even more than the working class in some ways.
Death frustrates the living, in our all-knowing ignorance. The only thing anyone alive knows is that it is inevitable and another cause for ritual. Life is its waiting room. Personally, the most horrifying thought is that it could lead right back to all this.
: In just what way do you think sadism and masochism are essentially connected with each other?
Do you think it is possible to represent just one of them?
If so, for whom?
Also, about magick just once again, what is your opinion on RITUAL?
Also, is there actually anything you would you like to tell right now, just for having invented the concept of eternal return? dasghul.deviantart.com/journal…
Also, did you ever try to do some EROTIC PHOTOGRAPHY?
: The whip connects with the backs of slaves, but true masochism would mean production ceases, at the cost of the slaves' lives. There must be a balance of the two.
Ritual should be both a celebration and focus tool.
Cyclical views of time were common with Ancient Egyptians, Mayans and Aztecs. The question of it was Nietzsche's burden, and a fear of mine. Even if I am unaware of this repetition, it seems like a purgatory more agonizing than reincarnation. I cannot question his questioning.
Erotic photography or pornography? I have been on both sides of the camera, but since it is private, I wouldn't know what to call it, maybe both. I'm a firm believer in educational filth. The downside to this is we live in a vicarious age where erotic ritual is bastardized into a marketed commodity, thus cultivating vice. This pacifies some with violent urges and also pushes those who feel pornography isn't enough. I explore this in a novel still in the works loosely based on my experiences as an adult shop janitor/clerk.
: Tell us a bit more about that novel, about how it is connected to educational filth, and, well, about what exactly educational filth IS!
: 'Come Bug' is the title. It is based on a blue story, and let me tell you, the truth is greasier than friction. Aside from this book being fiction heavily laced with non-fiction, it is an examination on psychosexology. The only real definition of pornography is something without educational merit or something that does not inspire educational thought. Bill Hicks said this sounds like most entertainment and media. As far from the mainstream I'm certain this book will become, I'm hoping it will dismantle this contemporary idea that horror is sexy. It's not so genre-based, but without being homophobic or biased against the cruising denizens of these places, the horror of sex as vice and beyond is what makes the humans in the story more repulsing than the hallucinatory creatures. All the worst parts of the book are true.
: So horror is not sexy, but rather is sex horror...?
Anyway, you obviously see some important connection between those two...
So why don't you just give us one or two specific examples for that here?
: Well, aside from what the vampire and werewolf symbolize sexually in horror, all this sensuality really just neuters the very idea of being horrified or repulsed. One night during a graveyard shift at one of the adult shops I worked at I saw an example of this. Two men entered a room in the video arcade, one much younger than the other. After an hour or so went by, I heard cries for help, not pleasure, coming from that room. The younger man exited and on his way out, I could see he was covered in blood, bruised and cut. I was going to call the police, but he assured me he was fine. Whether he was embarrassed or just didn't want attention drawn to his fetish, I can't say. Later, I thought I saw the man he was in the room with on the news arrested for something violent, but that was a regular occurrence with clientele that kept extra-low profiles, not always out of shame. That is just fluff really compared to what is in the book. I didn't start writing about my occupation until long after I got fired from the last shop I worked at and after I stopped drifting, backpacking around the country. Joking with co-workers about writing a book on it all did put it in my mind though. The thing is, I thought I would never be able to forget some of these spectacles, but when such bizarre situations happen numerous times a night, over the course of a couple years, you trivialize it all as just another reality. That was my motivation to write a novel, my personal war stories!
: Well, although I still don't see the point in novel writing because no one publishes them anyway if you have not been personally ASKED to write one, you would have ONE reader, for sure!
But anyway, since you called them WAR STORIES, was this actually just meant as some situative metaphor, or are you really trying to fight something with that one? (--> Apart from the idea of horror being sexy, I mean! )
: Purely joking, but when I tell people some of the best parts (the true parts) of the book, they react in that way. I realize the odds of publishing material like this, especially because I haven't seen any stories like this, will most likely repulse the mainstream. That is fine, I've never been one to pander and I would be lying if I said it wasn't an attack on all that anyway. All the best books are banned, so that would be an honor. This day and age though, you would like to think we've come further. As an American, I know sex shops as a topic are frowned upon, they are more profitable kept as a dirty secret. Any publicity is good. If someone told me the content made them vomit, terrified or laugh, that would be the best feedback I could hope for.
: This might be an honour alright, but it might also be an honour "given" to just so many people, it probably would stop being an honour at all, just by that...
But hey, we're not talking here about MY misanthropic weltanschauung! We're rather talking about YOURS!
So, what would YOU actually change about sex shops, and the way they are perceived?
: You're right, it is a trite compliment, this story is anything but passive though. The most ridiculous thing about American adult shops is the 'decency' protocol that is a total joke. Aside from the retail aspect, the real income for the low-rent shops is in the 'previewing of videos' as a front for cruising for anonymous sex. Police often raid the halls, but the rest of the time, it's business as usual. It's posted that 'you can look, but you can't touch'. It's much like the protocol of drug paraphernalia in America for tobacco use only, but that is all changing now of course. I think there will always be some kind of future for people with no privacy at home, living double lives, or just an alternate night life to indulge their urges. If that is taken away, there would definitely be an impact on society.
Here's a small sample:
"A row of various insects perched on the edge of the air vent, sitting still aside from wandering antennae, watching the sweaty pervert at his wack station, fidgeting in his pants to some blurry, vintage porno that could easily be mistaken for surgery footage. A woman on all fours, hanging breasts swinging like bells with every thrust from the rear. The insect audience waiting eagerly for the pitiful sex drone to spill his protein on the floor, salivating likes dogs over table scraps of chemical riddled excretion."
: Just for un-americans like my humble self, please do quickly paraphrase just what that PROTOCOL actually says and means, please!
: It all really amounts to the suggested legal etiquette, in a conservative state like Arizona at least. This of course does not stop people from pissing in trashcans, shitting all over the video screens and glory holes, smashing hypodermic needles, sticking used condoms to the ceiling etc. I have dodged many unsanitary bullets as a jism janitor!
Thank you again for being so personable and open. I have been denied by the more generalized interviews on this site that I have wasted my time filling out.
I guess art counts for nothing in popularity contests…
: Of course now, I just HAVE TO ask...
What is your opinion on dA?
: It is an odd feeling knowing more people around the world have seen my work than locally. Right now I can't afford gallery fees despite getting bites from some around Arizona. I think this site, once you can get past the occasional individual that thinks their opinion is somehow authoritative over another's art, is the best general online outlet that I know of for expression of any kind. There will be popularity contests anywhere social of course, be it the internet or the gallery-oriented art world. Art is monetarily worthless without a reputation behind it.
: Where do you think "reputation" comes from?
: I think Reputation is a sliding posturing between fame and infamy, the burden of the successful.
: So why is it important to carry "the burden of the successful", in order for your ART to be, in the most common of all senses, WORTH something?
: To be honest the price of it is not that important to me, for the validation of monetary value's sake. The aesthetic value is central. I've always had mixed feelings doing commission work. We are all pimps and whores though.
: Do you identify more with the pimp, or the whore part?
: At this point, in my daily life I am more in the realm of whores; otherwise when I find the freedom to create.
: Well at this point, I probably should admit that I could just go on and on and on with this interview...
But the Ghoul is also all REALISTIC you know, and REALISTICALLY we also do want some people to READ all of this, don't we...?
Plus, we already discussed CREATING before!
So, do you have any last words left for our noble audience, right now?
: Thank you, you flatter me. I'll leave you with some six-word stories …
We visited the combustible genital exhibit.
Number nine, that's the fetus responsible.
Her helicopter wound is healing nicely.
The asshole doesn't need the head.
Preacher launches bible at possessed cripple.
Snack kid swallows dwarf stripper alive.
Claustrophobic astronaut needs to air out.
Blind cartoons never hear onomatopoeia coming.
Lunch lady's hands look like hamburger.
Which racing ambulance has bigger emergency?
…thanks for having me!
: Ladies and gentlemen, !
Whom I did not ask about SIX WORD STORIES at all, but did this
thing instead with!
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